When Giving Grace Causes You Problems
Do you lean more towards giving grace than sharing truth? Last week, I shared about the problems that happen when we lean more towards truth than grace (Click here to read last week’s post
Why is living with grace and truth so important? When John describes Jesus in John 1:14, he puts grace and truth together. Later on, in the New Testament, Paul, the writer of Ephesians, describes how the Gospel motivates us to “…speak the truth in love.” (Ephesians 4:15)
Dr. Les Parrott says this in Love Like That, “Truth without love is ugly, and love without truth is spineless.”
Ultimately, Jesus provides us with a vision a healthy vision of love, grace, and truth in relationships. We will not get this right all the time. Identifying where we tend to lean in unhealthy ways can help us experience true life-change from the Gospel: in ourselves and others.
What problems arise when you over-lean on grace or love? Here are a few below:
1. Grace can prolong the problem.
When grace becomes a reason not to speak the truth, a problem can repeat itself. We can make excuses that it will take care of itself. Without acknowledging a problem, there cannot be an opportunity for growth.
2. Grace can cause passive-aggressiveness.
Operating in grace without truth can cause resentment. A person may ignore another. Ghosting takes place. Perhaps, we even add in a sarcastic comment. The question for us is; how does giving this person grace affect how I treat them?
3. Grace becomes more about people-pleasing.
What keeps us from speaking the truth? At some level, we desire for people to like us. Overextending grace can become more about us than the other person. It takes a risk to share the truth and tact to share it well.
4. Grace can lead to gossip.
Often, we think we’re acting in grace by not saying anything to the person, but have shared our frustration with others about them? Rather than keeping short accounts and confidentiality, we invite other people into the mess.
How else can unhealthy grace or love become a problem in relationships? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Originally published at https://peterenglert.com on February 20, 2019.